Wow, what a week . . .

Between grading I don't know how many final reports and writing the report cards for the semester (I'm a teacher), a sick daughter (no, not what I referred to in my last Ben's Pen), some script deadlines, and house hunting (yes, we finally decided that a two bed room apartment might be a little small for a family of five) . . . well, I've been pretty busy.

But I wanted to go ahead and get this out there and done, though. This has been stewing around my mind for a while now. It's given me some food for thought, anyway, especially as I consider my day job (teaching in a public school) and my "other" job (writing comics; specifically, those comics intended for a Christian and pre-Christian audience).

What if cartoons got saved?

That's the concept of a wacky song by Chris Rice, not a new MegaUnity challenge, in case you were wondering. (Although a new Megaunity challenge is finally brewing . . . not to mention SELAH: The Psalms Project!)

It's silly, like some of Chris Rice's other songs. He's a clever guy, really, and a talented lyricist.

But he wrote a song that really bothers me.

Why?

Mostly because I guess I'm hyper-sensitive or something. I don't know. I'm the only person I know that this bothers. But I'm going to go ahead and rant about it for a second. Bear with me -- come along for the ride. You may not agree with the HOW, but I'm sure you'll agree with the conclusion.

("The Internet is good for one thing: the anonymous rant.")

In the song, cartoon characters cleverly have their catch phrases transformed into "praise" songs.

Scooby: "Scooby doobalujah . . ."

Yogi: "Hey Boobooalujah . . ."

The Smurfs: "La la la la la laaa, laaa la la-lalujah . . ."

Fred Flintstone: "Yabba dabba oojah . . ."

Ninja Turtles: "Cowabungalujah . . ."

Cute, eh? Kermit gets in on the action. Elmer Fudd. Rocky and Bullwinkle. Some others. Imaginary figures, all. The whole song is imaginary. It couldn't happen,because these are fictional characters with no soul. They cannot be saved, anymore than a table. Or a chair.

("Excuse me, is these seat saved?" "No, but it's willing to listen.")

The first time I heard the song, I was amused. But our local Christian radio stations played the song and replayed the song and replayed the song some more . . . and more . . . for a little while there. Then, it became one of THOSE songs. You know the type. Stuck in the craw of your brain, relentlessly playing over and over again . . . brutally repeating itself in a horrorific jukebox of the soul. (Right now, some of you are fighting the same thing. This song is stuck in your head, just because I brought it up!) It's doing it to me now, even as I write this, and I will not be able to shake it for a few hours.

Anyway, as I heard the song I realized something. Everyone in the song gets a clever "catch-phrase-alujah", until the last group.

"Beavis and that other guy . . . nah!"

On the CD recording, I believe they replace the "Nah" with a buzzer sound.

Now, again, this is already a silly, ridiculous song. Funny, even. But it has always bothered me that all the other cartoon characters, from the occult ridden Smurfs to the idiotic Bullwinkle to the self-absorbed Fred Flintstone, are able to be "saved", but Beavis and "that other guy" (Butthead) are dismissed, off hand.

"Nah!"

Now, I don't know what bothers me more . . . that they pass up the PERFECT catch phrase joke (you figure it out) or that they dismiss B & B as they did.

I know it wasn't' intentional. I'm almost 100% positive that they weren't sitting around while writing that song and saying, "Those slackers, they'd NEVER be able to get saved." No, instead it was probably just an off hand joke with little thought other than if it's funny. There were no premeditated theological implications, I'm sure.

In fact, on the artist's webpage, he devotes a whole paragraph in his FAQ section to the question of "Why can't B & B get saved?" He dismisses the question, saying it was just supposed to be a joke and he wrote the song in ten minutes at a youth camp. None of the cartoon characters can be saved in the first place. His explanation of the joke actual seems to contradict the joke itself -- he included the "Nah" as a reaction to the strong evangelical reaction against B & B, when wouldn't a more appropriate -- or at least more ironic -- reaction be to INCLUDE B & B's cartoon conversion in the song?

Because there IS a certain prejudice within the church toward outsiders. It's human nature to exclude outsiders. It's human nature to congregate with like-minded people. Take a look at your circle of friends -- they wouldn't be your friends if you didn't have SOME sort of common ground.

The church is to be, by it's nature, inclusive. God accepts all people. People don't. And it makes for some VERY interesting situations when you take the different people, throw them in a building, and shake it up a little. Conflicts arise, splits happen, and our Christ-like spirits are put to the test!

(This also happens on Christian e-mail lists and message boards. Especially there, because you add to the mix no actual human contact. And therefore a complete lack of non-verbal communication, along with common courtesy, that you would have in face to face communication. "The Internet is good for one thing: the anonymous rant.")

Anyway, I could imagine that many churches would go right along with that "Nah!"

I do not believe that is Chris Rice's intention.

But, all that considered, it was published and recorded and played (over and over again) with the "Nah". Now, perhaps I am not giving him enough credit. Perhaps his intended irony actually cuts deeper. B & B actually WOULDN'T get saved precisely because of the church's reaction to people such as B & B.

"Nah, we wouldn't let THEM in."

"They're unsavable."

Either way, it illustrates a point. Intentional or not, I wonder how many unsavable WE have out there. Not because Jesus doesn't love them. Not because God won't forgive them. But because they are the un-savable in OUR eyes.

Who's your un-savable? The homosexual? ("Nah!") The murderer? ("Nah!") The slacker kids on the street corner? ("Nah!") The gang banger wanna be? ("Nah!") The sex offender in your neighborhood? ("Nah!") The unfaithful husband? ("Nah!") The single mother? ("Nah!") The dirty, no good fill-in-the-race-here? ("Nah!") The "great unwashed"? ("Nah!") The jerk who just cut you off in traffic? ("Nah!")

Think about it.

And do something about it. Yeah, I've drawn a lot out of a silly song. Most of which was unintended by the artist and the rest of which I probably overreacted about. But it does make me think.

Do I believe everyone is loved by Christ?

Do I believe that everyone can be covered by His blood?

Do I ACT like I believe that?

Beavis and Butthead? They're cartoon characters. We can afford to write THEM off.

The rest of the world?

. . .

~ Ben

COMING SOON -- The OFFICIAL SELAH announcement!

Past Ben's Pen articles:

"Dirty Diapers and the Apple of God's Eye" -- Thoughts on Art and Worship

The Ten Best Christian Comics You've Never Read, pt. 1

The Ten Best Christian Comics You've Never Read, pt. 2